faith · living life · Motherhood · parenting · Uncategorized · Waco

Fighting to Flourish – the American Dream

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In Tucson, Arizona, visiting family

Why I Moved to Waco? That’s the question, right? We have been living here two years, nine months. We moved here for a job, but why would we take a job in Waco, Texas from San Diego, California? For the answer to a dream. We wanted a house, less stress, less debt, a better place to be a family. Follow God’s path for us.

Over the past couple years, I’ve received numerous emails and Instagram DM’s from people who live all over the country but mostly in California who tell me they identify with this desire to find a better land.

A better land – it’s a heart’s desire that can be found back in the pages of history.  The Israelites, God’s chosen people, picked up and moved with everything they could carry to exit the land of Egypt where there was food, water, and shelter.  They had the basic necessities, but they were slaves living a life of bondage.

There are many forms of bondage.  We can be slaves to work, our fears, another person, to the “man” i.e. debt, the expectations placed upon us by society, our parents, our environment. The American Dream says we have the right to be successful and achieve status if we work hard enough.  We tell our kids to stay in school, study hard, volunteer, stand out and get into the “right” school, so you can reach whatever pinnacle you DREAM.  What we don’t usually tell them is what that pursuit can cost.  Without a pure motivation, that pursuit can be for all the wrong reasons.  The adage “at all costs” goes hand in hand with “money doesn’t buy happiness.”

“Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will
flourish like a green leaf.” {Proverbs 11:28}

So if life’s big purpose doesn’t lie in having the biggest house, or the best college education, then how do we realign our dreams to find happiness, fulfillment, and contentment?

What are your dreams?

Are you a stay-at-home mom looking to be back in the workforce but wondering how you’ll ever give up what your life looks like now?  Are you afraid of that might look like?

Are you working a job that makes great money and pours into others but leaves you feeling dried up? Maybe you’re looking to step back from your career a bit and lean into raising your family.

Maybe your reality is drowning under a mountain of dirty diapers, laundry, and dishes, and all you need is a little time to get out from under all the monotonous responsibilities and be able to appreciate the sunshine and outdoors.

The truth is that we women have to face this struggle of finding our place, and sadly it usually means toting a bag of guilt under a hat of shame.  Fulfillment doesn’t come from a paycheck or what car you drive or how many kids you’re raising or how clean your house is.

Recently, my fourteen year old son and I were discussing school and being motivated for a future; he asked me, “What did you want to be, Mom? Did you want to be a mom and stay home and do laundry?”  It’s a good question.  The answer is yes.  I chose this for this season of my DREAM.  My mom did the same thing.  Of course there are trade-offs, and there are different paths I could have or still might pursue.  THAT is the American Dream.  Most importantly to me (and what I told him) is that I get to choose.  And yes, we discussed that it’s not just laundry and dishes.  He knows, but he’s a teenager.

The age-old proverb “All that glitters is not gold” holds true in every century.  We can’t just go for the shiniest option.  We need to go for what we’re called to be in the middle of – whether that’s running a corporation or running a household.

Find your joy today.  Step out in faith if it’s somewhere you’re scared to go.

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faith · home renovation · marriage · parenting · Waco · writing

Where I’ve Been

 

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Photo by Rachel Whyte

These past few months have been a slipped by in a frenzy.  I have been writing less that’s for sure, but not as little as my blog seems to reflect.  For the past 10 months, I’ve been writing for Waco Moms Blog twice a month, so I thought it was time that I post a link here to what I’ve been sharing over there!

2017 was a blur, and I have higher hopes for 2018.  I refuse to declare “resolutions” per se, but I do have expectations of what I hope to accomplish and goals for myself and my family.

  • As a family, we are going to do more Bible devotions together – so far, we’re using our phone apps and do the plans together.  It’s been so sweet to hear the kids daily responses to what they’re reading and being challenged by.
  • I still have aspirations to publish the book that’s about 85% written
  • Along with the above, I want to attend a Writers’ Conference
  • Perhaps while at said conference, I will get myself a literary agent
  • I’ve written enough about my failing housekeeping skills.  I’m going to own them now and one-up myself by making a weekly schedule and paying myself a housekeepers fee.  I’ll put that money aside for something special. Boom.
  • Pray daily for the big things in life that have not been answered in years.  Ex: getting out of school loan debt
  • Eat more fruits and vegetables – this is a family challenge. Gotta replace those refined sugars and empty carbs!
  • Finally get our master bath updated from torn-off wallpaper dry wall and hot water in my sink (shut off because it was dripping)!  The bids are coming in, and we should be able to start demo in the next week or two.

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  • Choose joy – I’m wanting to see the upside more and find more to be thankful for in every tough situation.  I figure it can’t hurt in this season of raising teenagers.  They have enough angst for the rest of us!

 

  • My word of the year – FLOURISH – who doesn’t want to do that?  At first I thought, “Thanks, God for offering me a word of hope that doesn’t feel like work.” Then I looked up the definition: “to be in a vigorous state; thrive; to be successful; prosper; to grow luxuriantly, or thrive in growth.”  When a flower blooms, if you watch it in slow motion, there is so much happening.  It is an effort to be sure, but it appears effortless because it is not being watched in the between blooming.  We live life, and the blooming is the embellishment that fills in the process of what is happening.

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“Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like a green leaf.”
Proverbs 11:28

“They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God.”
Psalms 92:13

“Is not my house like this with God? For He made an everlasting covenant with me ordered in all things and secure. For this is all my salvation and all my desire; will He not make it flourish?”
II Samuel 23:5

faith · living life · Waco

When Time Flies in Texas

We moved into our house 1 year ago already!  Isn’t it funny how quickly the waiting period for something greatly anticipated suddenly becomes ordinary and almost a hazy memory?  We left the Southern California coast in all it’s perfect scenery and weather and a picture pretty life in exchange for something different.

We’re settling into our new phase of life; year two is almost down and I can officially say that it feels like time has flown.

I have some specific ways I can verify that we feel like we aren’t the new kids in town.

I’ve started talking about life here in years instead of months.

The one year anniversary of moving into the home I felt would never happen a year ago passed almost without notice.

I drive around the town without using a map app or even thinking much about how to get there; instead, I wonder if I should take one of three ways I know I could get there.

We get connected to other newbies in town who want to know how well we’ve adjusted.

When I talk to my husband, we’re both able to use names of the people in our community without descriptors like a last name or “the guy who works in marketing.”

I feel like I say the “the” before I refer to a freeway number less and less.

I say y’all without even realizing (not much but sometimes).

I sort of know where the small towns are that others mention they’re from.

We are less surprised by the randomness of Texas weather where it can rain at any moment!
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Our kids now think athletic brand clothing is way cooler than surf brands and can run three miles in 80 plus degrees and 85% humidity.

We still miss the coast many days, especially as we are entering those hot mid-summer days where the heat index is 100+.  We have to constantly remind each other that what we said goodbye to there was hard, but what God is daily teaching us is new and unexpected.  No place is perfect.  We survive each day He has given us with enormous servings of grace.

Each new season of life is filled with adjustment.  We have a son entering high school and our daughter is officially in junior high.  We are in THAT stage.  We could be empty nesters in six years.  These are the days to hold on to.  I’m thankful for our health, a home, kids who still like us most days, and a faith-filled hope that we have purpose here on earth.

As we celebrate our nation’s independence, I also celebrate our independence as a family who sees the head of our house more often, who own a piece of the American dream, and can “afford” (I say that loosely as the truth is what Americans ever feel they can afford it all) everything we NEED.

Enjoy this holiday and thank God for the freedoms you have and the ability to appreciate all the little things one day at a time whether you’re limping or dancing.  In a blink of an eye, you’re suddenly in a new place, age, or phase of life.
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“I have spoken to you with great frankness; I take great pride in you.  I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.”  II Corinthians 7:4